getting payed to surf

i should be a good sport and stay alone if this one dumps me. sure as hell not go back.
lost my chance anyway, just like igor.

dumb for attaching myself to dreams and phantasies
dumb for removing my hair and eating ice cream.

still stupid.

i neda mi se ni ic sad. strah me povrede

i miss the little boy. he would buy me anything. although i always decline and pretend im not like that although i would love for him to buy me something. im so sad i couldnt be myself and that i was ashamed of who i am
i miss how he would do anything for me and how he gave me weed and gifts all of the time.
he cared
he cared for my food and drink and he took real good care of me.
i must say i miss it
must say i miss someone taking care of me.

strah me je
ne razumijem nista trenutno
zasto nemoze bit neki dobar mashup
zasto ne nalazim zadovoljstvo u brizi o sebi


zasto smijesni blogovi ne pomazu
why am i so attached to material things, aesthetics and beauty
enjoyment senses pleasure and blindness.

so much pain inside