the source od sadness

im not fine with my past. thats why everytime someone pokes it, i get all...
i know it all in theory, thats the even worse part
my mental isnt letting me go through it
i feel stupid for my actions and like really really extra stupid
this is exactly why i have been procrastinating with it
CAUSE ITS HARD

being unaware is so hurtful
why did i do it...why did i do all those things?
why did i hate myself so much
i didnt even know myself